Luafien, that is the name of the last child I will bring into this world being wholly drow. I was drow. I was completely mortal, I was normal, I was a girl, and more than that I was one of the youngest matrons in the history of my home.
All of that died with the hundreds that died when tower Freth bounced off the roof of Menzoberranzan. This city was the only home I'd ever known, and it pained me to leave it behind. Wounds cut deep that day, as not only was my city lost to me but a companion as well. In a fit of pique I demanded that the Dark Maiden fix the damage done to Drizzt, and in an instant he was gone, as was all we had done to repair his once damaged mind. I had given him, them all the power to choose only to have it stripped away by petulant goddesses. Were I to voice that comparison though, I doubt Eilistraee would have meant her apology, or brought him back. The Dark Selderine have proved to be little better than the houses of Menzoberranzan, but for their lofty ideals.
They call me bold, but perhaps it is only that they forget what it is like to be subjugated to the whim of a mad goddess. Perhaps they never knew, they were never human, but born gods. I can only hope that those I help elevate to our growing pantheon do better. I hope I do better. Our people deserve more.
My city, my home has welcomed me back with brutality and gore far beyond what I believed them capable of. I thought, when I was younger that could be reasoned with. I thought… perhaps she was just misunderstood by the men we made just above slaves for her whims. I thought that we could do right for our people and serve her. I was wrong.
She left my city in ruins, feeding our dying men and woman their own families for lack of meat. All of those killed have been returned to them, there is a benefit to the lack of a god of death. Vaerhun, Ellistraee and I spent nine days clearing away what she did in my name, to spite me. Spiders, on all of them. She'd lost control of them so everything she did, she claimed with a spider hoping it would take them back. They lost faith in her, because of her own actions. A warning, I'd even given her once.
House Baenre still stands, though justice needs come for Trielle. After all she did to them, the city will ask for her head, I will need show them another way, or her murder will send us back to where we were two years ago.
My heart breaks for what she did to the city I gave my mortality for. Their needs now come before mine, or I die. My followers must love me better, or I fade away, in a very tangible sense. Though, part of me reads the words that I've lived and I wonder if I've just gone mad. Perhaps I am still in tower Freth, behind the door my mother locked thirteen years ago, and all of this has just player out in my head. That would be the most rational explanation for what I've come to. After the past few years, I might almost wish it, if it weren't for the joy that I've seen.
Heroes, legends eat at my table, sleep in our beds. Right now, I find myself in a room, in house Do'Urden. A sentence that I would never thought be possible thirteen years ago. The sounds of a girl child echo in these halls, in a way that most would have thought impossible but here it stands, truth.
Houses have been raised, or restored. Obledra, Mizzrym, Do'Urden, Fey, and Braegan D'Arthe. Each led by a drow that values their people over themselves. Two, with men at their lead. I can only hope that Menzoberranzan will bend its mind to understand that it's working in Chul Siin.
Would that this were all that was on my mind.
Between the rebuilding of both cities, I have children without homes. Valen has taken them to Xorrlorlin with Ravel, and the two of them have settled somewhat in the past few weeks. I am sure that Ravel is pleased to see his sister again with her husband, as I understand it. I also have a city that relies on my physical presence to power their magic, thus is the life of a god at this point.
Gromph Baenre has confirmed that I can imbue objects in the city centers to power them, which will allow me the ability to leave and give my followers they ability to keep going when I am not with them. It has been a gift to be able to leave without the lights going out in my wake. Two miles is not near as far as I'd like it to be sometimes.
Juchin though was the most surprising of it. Apart from being the Demi God of War with the help of Vaerhun, he called me to the surface to aid some elves and humans that prayed to him in saving Mystra. Apparently her vessel, a vapid girl named Midnight, for all the gods, I wish that I was kidding but that is what she actually calls herself…needed help in tracking her. We found her and even freed her from Death and Murder, but that didn't stop her from rushing the stairs and being killed by Helm. He seemed saddened that he had to do it, but he did it still.
We woke hours later in the Dales, Shadowdale I think, but honestly, I haven't the foggiest. It was bright, and they were rude. The girl, Midnight, had difficulty coming to grips with what had happened, but were I her, I would have trouble too. I had trouble of my own and did not stay to watch the trial that happened later over the death of someone they called Elminister. Drizzt mentioned the name once, and said he was a great man. I don't know much more beyond that.
At home though, I was greeted by my usual three man inquisition, plus one older daughter who was up with Lua when the lights went out. Sahven has taken most of this in better stride than I might have at her age, but her father is fairly stable so that must have something to do with it. Regardless, it was their idea that I go through with Gromph's plan to imbue the cities, as it would stop panic in my wake if I chose to continue leaving without telling anyone.
I swear, sometimes I fall back on old thoughts and think to scold them for being out of place, but if you had witnessed those men, full of bravado and the freedom to speak your minds, you would understand why I stay my tongue. They are entitled worries, just as I am… and I can't help but hope that these shouting matches are happening all over the city, as the men and woman of Menzoberranzan start to find even ground.
I only hope the peace we've found here will last.
Tomorrow, there is certain to be more changes, and I've a vested interest in sending more than one of these gods home so that I can try and give these people a relatively normal life, even if it means that those days for me are long done.
For now, there are gods among them, and crystal spiders looking over them, and for the first time, no one needs fear them, because they are mine.